My kids are great. Here's why;

Meg will only colour in purple pen. And not just any old purple; a particular purple pen that is not going to last forever. Heaven help us.

Finn comes back from ChildWatch at the YMCA and tells me about the things he has done there, like 'staplizing' the pieces of a Christmas paper chain together, presumably with a 'staplizer'.

Meg can't say Pops so calls him Bop, but can manage a perfectly good 'pop' if she catches a whiff of a lollipop in the vicinity.

Finn calls his new hockey box his 'winkle pad'.

Meg refuses to say cat deeming 'miaow' to be just as effective, and insists that there is no need to say dog as everyone knows what 'woof woof' refers to.

Finn worries that he doesn't know who he is going to marry.

Meg already has a well developed shoe obsession.

Finn asked me what 'smithereens' are.

Meg has absolutely no qualms about saying 'yuck' and spitting out the food that is in her mouth.

Finn told me that he must wear his 'winkle pad' for protection.....against being hit with a hockey stick.......on the head.

Meg's favourite book is about a monkey and has no writing in it.


Finn wants to grow up to be a mummy because mummies don't do anything.