The Beaver Mystery

Finn had spent the afternoon playing at Jack's house. On the way home we had the following conversation.


"Mum, what's a beaver?"
"It's a large rodent that lives in the water, builds dams, gnaws down trees, you know...."
"Not that kind. A different beaver."
"A different beaver? No, don't know what that is."
"You do, Mummy. The human kind."
"Pardon?"
"The kind that humans have...."


At this point, the hackles on my neck started to rise - surely Jack's big sisters are not big enough to start corrupting my son? I turned the radio off.


"Whose been telling you this?"
"You, Mummy."
"I told you about the kind of beaver that humans have?"
"The beaver that humans get, you know, we bought something."
"We bought something for the kind of beaver that humans get? Where did we buy it?"
"At Wegman's."






Panic over and suspecting a mis-understanding, I pulled out the deerstalker and magnifying glass.


"Is it something to eat?"
"Yes. It's something to get rid of beavers. You bought it for me."
"I see. And have you eaten it already?"
"No. Not yet."
"Can you remember what it looks like?"
"No."
"is it still at home?"
"Yes."
"Where?"
"In the cupboard with the medicine."


And the penny drops.


When I had stopped howling with laughter.....


"Finn, did you mean we bought something to get rid of 'FEVERS'?

There was a lawn here somewhere....

  

What were they thinking?

I innocently bought some bendy straws for the children the other day. I'm not sure they are all entirely suitable.

Oh, to be a Chunker!

If you've never heard of it before, it's sure time you checked out the world of pumpkin throwing. No, really, you should. To be fair, there's a little more to it  than just chucking pumpkins hither and thither. The idea is that you build a machine that chucks pumpkins. And they sure do chuck 'em, these machines. In the Air category, the World Record (yes, along with the Baseball World Series, the Americans have safely made sure they remain 'world champions' in another sport that no-one else plays), stands at over 4000 feet. Woo-hoo throw that pumpkin, baby!

It would appear that Punkin Chunkin was all started 26 years ago by a bloke who was a little bit bored so got together with some mates to build a Trebuchet -type device in his empty corn field and chucked a couple of pumpkins. Then, before you know it, 25 years later Mythbusters make a TV show about it and tens of thousands of people turn up to watch. These days there are 13 categories of machines and the mini-festie takes place over 3 days. This year, we went AND IT WAS AWESOME, DUDE!

Notice dude on bike - pedal power!

No-one could see how this one worked

We arrived for the final day of the Chunkin' and it was clear that there had been some serious fun had the night before - the empties littering the floor were numerous, to say the least, and there were even a couple of 'left over' cars in the as yet unfilled section of the car park. The Adult Human Power category was chunkin' as we arrived and we were soon caught up in the heckling and cheering going on behind each contraption. It was very exciting, with loud announcements of "Fire in the Hole" and "Eyes to the Skies" before each team fired their pumpkin. Some hurtled through the air with ease and grace, as much grace as a pumpkin can muster anyway, while others burst into tiny pieces upon launch and others still simply refused.



Forgive the 'tude - a matter of timing only.



We watched, we cheered, we ooh'ed and aaah'ed, and then Finn got bored and it was off to the concession stands. Of which there were plenty. I was in my element and managed to continue my quest to sample American carnival food in all its stomach turning glory. Having started with a simple yet utterly delicious pulled pork sandwich, I moved onto my most treasured find yet: Chocolate covered Cheesecake on a Stick. I know! Then, because they smelt so good and looked so revolting, a Funnell Cake. Sadly, no photographic proof of this one, but numny, numny. numny! as Meg would say. Picture, if you will, doughnut batter trickled into the fryer so it globulates into a bird's nest of oil-soaked deliciousness, about the size of a paper dinner plate. Scoop it out of the fat and straight into a tub of icing sugar, then slather it in apple pie filling and serve piping hot. Double numny.

Then it was back for some more chunkin'. Sadly, however there was a delay as one of the brave folk who hotfoot it after the flying pumpkins to measure their distance travelled, had overturned his ATV and was being CASEVACed to the nearest Emergency room. Heaven only knows where that was as this pumpkin fest goes on in the back end of nowhere in deepest, darkest Delaware, but our best wishes went with him.

When it was decided that the show would indeed go on, the Air category got underway. Now, these machines are impressive: absolutely gi-bungous and the product of some seriously clever designs and incredible amounts of hard work, not to mention dollars, invested. Their pumpkins are propelled by compressed air through immensely long barrels over vast distances. They make a substantial noise when fired, which managed to frighten me every time, but shoot the pumpkins out so fast that it is impossible to follow the trajectory of said missile. If it were not for the impressively fast feedback over the PA of the unofficial result of each shot, I fear this category would make a disappointing spectator sport.

Finn got itchy feet again, so off we traipsed for some more exploring. Along the way we discovered the Miss Punkin' Chunkin' pageant, two very impressive bands and the fact that the stalls selling official merchandise had RUN OUT. I kinda got the feeling that this event has grown a little faster than organisers anticipated; running out of official merchandise cannot be good for fund raising, surely. They certainly didn't make anything from us and we were in the market for T-shirts and an engraved tankard (they were nicer than they sound, honest!). All is not lost as T-shirts can still be bought online - phew! - but dreams of the tankard have to be let go, sorry Jodi.

We had fun. We will definitely go back and experience some more of these true-blue, red-neck-tastic shenanigans. We will again break out our flannel shirts and camouflage jackets, grow ZZ-Top beards and pull a cooler full of beer on a dolly. (This was a fab idea tho, as the cooler doubled as a step for seeing over crowds).

When I asked Finn if he had a good time, he replied, "Yes, I did. Except for all the standing about, watching them throw pumpkins."

Getting involved

A favourite